Aggravating Circumstances

18.3.111

I can only now, after some time has past, record what happened as I returned from the Eve Gate.  I was passing through Amarr space and decided to dock and pray, to commune with a higher power and give the fire inside me a purpose. 

I stopped off at some backwater Amarrian system and found a chapel away from the busy through routes at the spaceport.   It was a beautiful chapel, I have always been an admirer of religious architecture, and this was a fine example.  It was fairly quiet inside, a few amarrians busy at their devotions, they did not stir as I passed them buy heading for the alter.  There were no members of the clergy present and I paid this no mind, I was a free member of Amarrian society, despite my blood and ancestry, I had the right to be here.  I prostrated myself before the alter and lost myself in prayer.

I don't know how long I lay there, but I became aware of angry voices and foot steps approaching.  'Who allowed this desecration?  Summon this things master, I want it gone from here.'  It was a whiny petulant voice.  Without looking up I knew it was the priest, I had met his type before, 'Don't worry yourself Priest, I am leaving.'.  I strode to the door pausing to look back at the alter, as I did so the priest shouted to one of his minions, 'get it out of here, and tell it's master that property is to be controlled.' the poor underling laid a hand on me and tried to push me to the door.  'Property.....? '  I felt the fire rise inside of me, the wheel of fire filling my vision.  Instead of opening the door I bolted it.  I felt the fire filling me, the rage building, I could here the priest screaming for me to leave, the urgent demands from the cleric next to me, I drew my bowie knife and silenced the pitiful wretch and strode quickly to the priest who was standing, his mouth opening and closing but no sound coming out 'You should be careful who you insult, free men where I am from don't take kindly to being referred to as property.'

He fell to his knees, whining that he was sorry, that it was a mistake, I did not listen I let the fire inside take me........Blood.....so much Blood.....and screaming.........then.....silence.

I regained my senses, kneeling at the alter a blood stained knife in my hand, they were all dead....all of them.....what had I done......what have I become......

Wheel of Fire

3.3.111

I returned to Branch yesterday, but could not settle. I felt restless and ill at ease. I needed to get away from every thing and every one, to get my head straight. I set out for the Eve Gate in Genesis. It was a long trip, over 30 jumps through 0.0, but no problems for a Cov Op ship. Apart from the friendly gate camps it was an uneventful journey. I docked for a time in Taisy before setting out on the remaining 30 odd jumps. Again a disappointingly easy journey.

Genesis was an unsettling region, fairly quiet as I passed through, with no stations that I saw. I finally arrived at the New Eden gate and sat for a time collecting my thoughts before jumping through.

The wormhole is an awesome sight. A wheel of Fire burning in the night. I don't know how long I sat there staring at the swirling fire. Something changed inside of me. I felt at peace with myself, with who I am, and who I will become. Instead of darkness inside there is now an all consuming fire.

An Old Friend

1.2.111

Empire. I never realised how fat and lazy it makes you. With Concord looking over your shoulder you'd have to be a fool to lose a ship. Although those that fly here do not see it. They go about their business wrapped up in their safe little bubbles. The only thing worse than these complacent fools are the ones that prey on them. The so called pirates that cannot take the competition of the lower security systems. I never realised how much I had grown to hate it here, and how much contempt I have for the residents. It is as well my affairs here are now in order, apart from the occasional (and unavoidable) supply runs I am finished with the opulence and petty rivalry of high security space!

This last week was meant to be a break from the grind of life in 0.0. But turned out to be more eventful. After I collected the last of my stored equipment I contacted Vincent. It was good to see him, it has been a long time! It turns out he is now an affiliate of the Angel Cartel, and flies with a small Corporation called Ghost Festival, out of the Bleaklands. I am entirely comfortable with Piracy, but living in outlaw space has eroded my morals so I agreed to go on a patrol. It was nice flying with a small tight team again, even as an outsider looking in. I was also flying a Crucifer class for the first time. The downside of flying with a small gang is the losses, we lost 2 frigates but the Pods did get out, took the edge off the elation of taking down an assault frigate somewhat. Although I am somewhat surprised by my lack of emotion, perhaps because I did not know any of the plots involved. Because of Vince (and hopefully my performance in the Op) I have been invited to fly with the Ghosts again, In return I have offered to run supplies into Tzvi.

But for now I need to return to Branch. My Hulk will be ready - the Ore must flow!

And yet there is a turmoil within me. A darkness on my soul. I need to think. I need.....to be alone.